Living Answered Prayers

I have been working my way through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and the Morning Pages practice has caused me to sit in deep moments of reflection. Lately, prophecy and the power of prayer have been coming to the fore front of my writing time. I have found myself living answered prayers, but not even prayers I have prayed. One of the most inspirational people of my life was my Paw. He was the embodiment of faithfulness and I feel as though I am walking amidst so many of the prayers that he prayed over my life. He prayed over my life in every season; even when I lacked an awareness to the power of prayer, and as I find myself walking the halls of this home where I was raised my eyes are opened to the memories fueled by love and prayer. 

When it’s difficult to anchor in what we cannot see we can return to the tangible examples that have blessed our lives. I was blessed with a strong example of faith. I continue to return to Paw’s examples in my life…I reflect on when I returned home after my first heartbreak. I longed for comfort. I longed for anything that would make my pain make sense. This was the first moment I remember being taught how to pray. Paw lead to me to his bedside and we both got on our knees. I remember telling him that I didn’t know what to pray. He said, “you don’t have to know what to say. Sometimes you can just cry. God knows your heart.” 

I can’t recall conversations or lessons that he imparted on me after my mom died, but that season of life is when we returned to church. He took me through the doors of Fortville Christian and we walked down the long hall to the youth room. He dropped me off to God, and now that I am older and wiser I understand it’s because he was seeking his own comfort while grieving his daughter. Paw didn’t have any of the answers to the questions I was asking, and he turned to the only thing that ever made sense when everything else was a mess: faith. 

Even as a child I can recall the consistency of always believing that I could become anything I dreamed to be. Anytime I received a card or a note from Paw it always said something to the effect of: God has big plans for you. After every game, performance or event Paw would check in with my on the drives home. He wanted to know how it felt for me. He would let me know that he saw God in me. Paw never wavered on acknowledging my gifting, and even when I didn’t care about them he still showed interest. I can only imagine what his prayer time was like during my many seasons of wandering through my wildernesses. Somehow, I always knew when it was time to return home; to return to the only thing that ever made sense when everything else was a mess: family.

My faith is so deeply tied to my sense of family because of how Paw described them both to me. It’s as if they were one in the same, but that makes sense because love was at the center of all things. Even when Paw’s illness took a turn and he was nearing the end of his journey here on Earth, I felt the deep knowing to return home. I allowed myself to be guided by all things unseen and was lead right to where I belonged. So much that I had been running from found me there at his bedside. Songs flowed out of me so effortlessly. Hesitation was non existent in my prayers. It felt as though my inheritance was Paw’s faith, and I am just now beginning to feel the full integration of those moments in my current season of life.  

We walk into answered prayers every day. I am so deeply grateful to still feel the presence of my Paw over my life. Here’s to becoming everything we dream…

Proverbs 13:22 msg: A good life gets passed on to the grandchildren; ill gotten wealth ends up with the good people. 

Photography of me living out my childhood rockstar dreams with Paw behind me and a painted portrait of me by Israel Solomon from the year he transitioned in the background.