Dear You from Me,

Hey there beautiful girl with the unruly curls,

Stop trying to straighten the mess upon your head.
A few years from now you're going to shave them all off and start over.
Crazy, I know, but it will be the greatest jump start to your self love adventure that you've ever experienced.
Right now you don't know much about self love. 
I know, you're just trying to figure out where you belong. 
You're trying to make sense of why your mom was just taken from you.
I can promise you this...even though it doesn't feel like, you are going to be okay. 

That longing for being more than "just a friend" with every guy you meet will last...for awhile.
You'll always get along better with the guys, enjoy every moment, because it will teach you  a lot about yourself.
Eventually, you'll learn that love comes in many forms, but you'll have to consistently remind yourself of that truth. Daily. 
You'll learn that chasing after men like your father will always end in heartbreak. 
Recongnize that your grandfather will forever be one of the best men you'll ever know.
You'll have a best friend who, quite literally, saves your life. Hold onto her and you'll always be loved in an unspoken way.

One day you'll meet a boy that tames you. 
He wont know any better and he won't leave you wild.
You'll lose peices of yourself while loving him.
Don't worry though, you wont regret a single memory. 
You'll walk down the aisle and promise to love him for the rest of your days.
You'll keep that promise, but it will look differently than you ever expected.
Remember that you can't always be the Up. 
You'll learn a lot from that boy; one of the most important lessons will be, 'not all toxic people are bad; we call the good ones magnetic.'
He will say those words to you on your last day together. 
Let it hit you like a ton of bricks, kid. 

You'll live in several different states.
You'll see the world and your love of travel will never, ever fade.
You'll be called a wanderer on several different occasions.
Your wild will always be in you, but you won't understand how to tame yourself until much later in life. 
You'll battle your fear of failure...maybe until your last breath (I'm not sure, I haven't gotten that far yet).
Going home will become your saving grace. 
Cherish where you're from because it is vital in getting where you're going. 
Family will keep you grounded; let those roots run deep. 
You'll learn how to listen to your body and take care of yourself, but you're gonna have to go through some hell to learn these lessons. 
College is going to stress you the fuck out. Let it happen. You're gonna learn so much. 
Don't let youself lose your voice because it is a battle to get it back. 

There will be moments when you feel like you're not going to survive; you will. 
You will beat the odds more often than not on several different occasions. 
You'll always be emotional and guided by your feelings. You will be encouraged to change that from time to time; don't listen to that negativity. 
Your waterbaby ways are more beautiful than you know. 
You've got a warrior heart and you're going to make it through all of your worst days. 
Keep surviving. Keep living. Keep loving. You're in for one hell of a life, kid.
​It's only just beginning...

All my love,

the beautiful girl with the unruly curls of 2017